The Terrible Tails of Frankensquirrel and The Dead Mailman

Greetings dog friends, friends of dogs and cats,

Today we have a tail to tell, it is called, "The Terrible Tails of Frankensquirrel and The Dead Mailman." It is a tail of horror and gore so please, read at your own risk!
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Frankensquirrel and The Dead Mailman

Deep in a forest in the hole of an ancient tree lives a creature of science. No one knows when he first breathed life but all have heard of the day he took his first victim. It was a day not unlike any other except for the chill that burdened everyone, like a heavy package.

Mr. Mailman was walking his daily route delivering mail to the people of Happy Tails, a small suburb outside of Los Angeles. Seemed like every house in town got at least one piece of mail, except for one…. 6686 Normal Lane.

Sure the house was ON Normal Lane, but it was anything but a normal. Built in the 30’s, it looked as if it would fall apart at any minute and certainly didn’t look like anyone lived there. The foliage around the house was overgrown to the point of hiding the shack that dwelled there, like it was protecting it from the prying eyes of all who would dare look in it’s direction. There were some dark secrets living in that house and there they would stay for no one ever came out of the house nor went inside….it gave the mailman the chills every time he went past the house.

Lucky for him he only passed the spooky house on route to his last delivery. Yep, one more delivery to the house across from 6686 to the house with the crazy, barking dog who he yelled at to shut up every time, some times even banging on the window. “Stupid dog,” he thought. He began to day dream of what the rest of his day might bring….a day at the zoo perhaps? Maybe get an ice cream cone? Hmmm…

But then, what’s this?! A flyer advertising the grand opening of a shoe store….addressed to 6686 Normal Lane!! How could this be? No one ever left that house so how could they need shoes? He could just ditch it, say it got lost in the mail, happens all the time after all. Oh but this is silly, it’s just a house, probably some ancient person lives there by themselves and can’t care for the house is all.

Mr. Mailman swallowed hard then began walking toward the house cautiously. Searching for a mailbox as he drew nearer, the brush and trees seemed to grab at him as he passed them on the front lawn. There, he spotted it, on the porch all rusted, a mailbox hanging on one nail next to the front door. Creeeeaaaak went the steps as he approached the box. His hands shook as he dropped the flyer into the box.

Just as soon as the mail touched the box he went running away from the door, lest he learn any secrets the house posed. He didn’t want to know, he just wanted to run! He made it to the brush and the grabby trees. He stopped in front of the house to catch his breath, smiling, he made it! There, not so bad.

Mr. Mailman took one step and out of the brush jumped a glowing, green squirrel!! He looked like he had been sewn together from pieces of other squirrels! His horrible orange eyes flashed and as quickly as that he tore off Mr. Mailman’s leg and ran off with it in his mouth! Mr. Mailman collapsed onto the ground in agony, bleeding and alone. He died there on that day. No one knew how such a gruesome thing could happen, except for me.

I saw the whole thing; I was the dog across the street. I told everyone, but no one would listen, I’m just a crazy, barking dog, sure! Well, Mr. Mailman died a long time ago now. We have a new Mr. Mailman, and I bark at him cuz that’s what I’m supposed to do. But chasing away squirrels, that is what I MUST do. If you had seen what I saw on that horrible day, you’d chase squirrels too!